“My Father Could Not Cook An Egg, His Grandsons Must Make An Omelette And More”. And I Will Make Sure Of That!
{The Crying Need for a Rethink of the Formation and Rearing of Our Male Children}.
Dear Nyaaba,
The world of women seems agreed that men are difficult to deal with at best, and irredeemably “bad”, whatever that means, at worst. My question is who rears the boys that grow into men?
Children receive their informal training, generally, from their mothers. It is mothers who teach them all that they know till they begin to go to school, and thence from, continue to play a role in their lives till the mothers exit this world.
That women complain about their “products”, metaphorical and literal, can be deemed an acceptance of failure. And let no one come claiming “patriarchal society” for that’s where the egg and chicken business will begin. That said, it is time for a rethink, by mothers and by fathers. And by all to whom the business of child-rearing falls.
Nyaaba, it’s time to wake up to an undeniable truth: we have utterly failed in how we have formed and reared our male children. For generations, we have raised boys with narrow, outdated notions of what it means to be a man. This traditional, limited approach is not just inadequate, it’s harmful. And if we don’t radically rethink how we raise our sons, we are setting them up for failure. Failure in relationships, failure in their emotional lives, and failure in society as a whole.
The standard model of manhood that has been passed down for centuries is broken. It’s time to acknowledge that we’ve raised men to be providers and protectors, but neglected to equip them with the emotional intelligence, empathy, and domestic skills that modern life demands. We have raised boys who, too often, cannot express their feelings, fail to manage relationships, and are utterly ill-prepared for the complexities of home life and family dynamics.
Nyaaba, the truth is, we have conditioned our sons to believe that their value lies solely in their ability to be breadwinners. They are taught that their worth is determined by their success in the workplace, and they are left unequipped to nurture, care for others, or even look after themselves in the home. Meanwhile, emotional intelligence, communication skills, and domestic labour are relegated to women. This has created a toxic and damaging cycle where men are emotionally stunted and women are burdened with an unfair amount of emotional and domestic labour.
But this model is no longer sustainable.
It is absolutely imperative that we rethink the way we form and rear our male children. The world has changed, and so must we. The old rules no longer apply, and we cannot afford to raise sons who are poorly prepared for the realities of modern life. It’s not enough for them to be good at making money; they must also be good at managing their emotions, supporting their partners, and being responsible, active parents.
The old adage that “boys will be boys” must be thrown out. Our boys should be taught to take responsibility for their actions. They should be taught to lead with compassion, communicate with empathy, and to be active participants in the home. They must know how to cook, clean, and care for their families, not because it’s “woman’s work,” but because it is the work of a responsible, self-sufficient, emotionally healthy adult.
It is essential that we teach them that emotional intelligence is not a weakness, but a strength. We must show them that vulnerability is not something to be feared but embraced. We need to stop teaching them that their worth lies in their ability to suppress their emotions and appear “tough.” Instead, we must teach them how to articulate their feelings, how to express love and affection, and how to support their partners and children in ways that are healthy and meaningful.
It is time to shift the narrative around masculinity. Men are not just providers—they are caregivers, nurturers, and emotional beings. We cannot afford to ignore the emotional education of our boys any longer. It is essential for their well-being, their relationships, and their success in the world. And it is essential for the society we hope to build.
This isn’t just about gender equality; it’s about ensuring that the next generation of men is whole, balanced, and capable of navigating the complexities of modern life. Our sons must know that their ability to be empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and responsible is just as valuable as their ability to provide financially.
Nyaaba, the time for change is now. We need a radical rethink in how we form and rear our male children. The old ways are no longer sufficient. If we don’t act, we risk raising a generation of men who are ill-equipped to thrive in a world that demands so much more than what we’ve taught them. It is time to raise boys who are strong not just in their muscles or their bank accounts, but in their hearts, their minds, and their homes.
The future depends on it.
Respectfully yours
The Siriguboy
Kasise Ricky Peprah
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