In every generation, society reveals its values not only through words, but through trends. What we wear, admire, normalize, and applaud quietly educates the next generation on what truly matters. Today, across the world and clearly reflected in Ghana, a worrying shift is taking place. Many young people preparing for life and marriage are increasingly mistaking appearance for readiness, sexual appeal for value, and popularity for purpose.
Fashion has always been part of human expression. There is nothing wrong with creativity or style. However, when fashion begins to replace values and when visibility becomes more important than virtue, society must pause and reflect. What we are witnessing today is not merely a change in clothing, but a change in thinking.
Among many young women and men, current trends include breast pumping and enhancement pursued not for health but for attraction, leg chains worn as identity statements, half naked and see through dresses, loose trousers deliberately sagged, and the growing culture where undergarments are worn as outerwear popularly known as otofista. These styles are often celebrated as confidence and freedom, yet beneath the surface they communicate a deeper message that worth is measured by how much attention one can attract.
The concern is not fabric or fashion itself. The concern is the mindset being cultivated. A generation is slowly being taught that to be desirable is more important than to be dependable, that to be seen is more valuable than to be stable, and that attraction is a substitute for character.
Closely tied to this is another dangerous belief spreading quietly among the youth. The idea that being sexually skilled is enough to qualify someone as a good wife or a good husband. This notion is not only shallow, it is deeply misleading. If sexual performance alone were the foundation of marriage, then many harlots and prostitutes would have married successfully and kept peaceful homes. Reality clearly disproves this idea.
Sex may attract, but it cannot sustain. It does not teach patience when finances are tight. It does not teach humility when pride is wounded. It does not teach forgiveness when trust is broken. It does not teach endurance when life becomes difficult. These qualities come from character, not the bedroom.
Marriage is not a competition of bodies. It is a lifelong partnership of values, discipline, emotional maturity, and responsibility. Beauty may open doors, but only character keeps them open. Sexual intimacy has its rightful place, but it was never designed to replace wisdom, self control, respect, and integrity.
Sadly, many young people are investing heavily in visibility and very little in inner growth. Social media rewards exposure, not substance. Trends are celebrated while discipline is ignored. As a result, many look ready on the outside but are unprepared on the inside.
The Bible’s parable of the ten virgins offers a powerful lesson for this generation. All ten were virgins. All were waiting. All appeared prepared. Yet only five were wise. The difference was not morality or appearance, but foresight and readiness. Wisdom, not beauty, determined who entered.
There is a truth that cannot be escaped. Choices made in youth do not disappear. They wait. A day comes when applause fades and responsibility speaks. A day when marriage becomes a serious pursuit and people begin to ask serious questions. A day when reputation matters more than popularity. At that point, the past often returns quietly but persistently, like a shadow.
This is not cruelty. It is consequence.
When character is ignored early, it becomes an accusation later. Many only realize this when the desire to settle down becomes urgent and society begins to judge not only who they are, but who they have been.
This is not a message of condemnation, but of caution. Not an attack on women or men, but a challenge to a culture that sells attraction as preparation. Beauty is a gift, not a guarantee. Sexual appeal is powerful, but it is not a foundation. Fashion can be expressive, but it should not erase dignity.
Marriage listens for character. It looks for wisdom, humility, peace, self control, and responsibility. These are qualities that cannot be bought, worn, or displayed online. They must be built quietly over time.
When all the trends are practiced without wisdom and all the applause is enjoyed without foresight, one truth remains. The pay day will surely come. And when it comes, it often arrives silently, haunting choices like shadows. That is the moment many are ready for marriage, yet are confronted by their past and judged by the very standards they once ignored.
Beauty fades. Trends change. Attention moves on. But character remains, and marriage will always demand it.
Source: CurticeDumevor Public Health Expert, Email: curticedumevor25@gmail.com